Sibling Squabble (me and your dad) and 2015 Summer and Thanksgiving Update

January 18, 2016

Dear Noah and Dylan,

    I've not seen either one of you in the new year yet, in fact I haven't seen you since Uncle Don's Christmas party.  I hope you are both ok.  I saw on Facebook that you mom had strept throat and one of you, too, but no news at all from your dad.  We go through these cycles where he doesn't contact me for long periods of time for unknown reasons.  He may be "punishing" me because I told him he needs to get Clay out of the house who has been drinking and smoking in the house..so drunk recently his boss picked him up for work and drove him right back to your dad's house.  I am worried he could pass out while smoking a cigarette. I told your dad I would never forgive him if anything happened.  There is no reason to keep him in the house.  He needs to talk to Clay's mother and get the guy in rehab.  Of course it is just my speculation that he hasn't called for that reason.  It could also be because he is ashamed he hasn't taken any action since he knows it must be done. Or it could also be that he has even less interest in keeping up a relationship with me than I thought.  In any case, I've been through this with him before. We've gone out for a beer to discuss it and I've also told hi that I'm not interested in a relationship with him if I am always the one pursuing him. I even told him I would go through your mom if need be in order to see you boys. That went over like a lead balloon and surely that would do nothing more than alienate him further.  I would do only if he cut me out of his life.  In another month or so, that might be the route I have to take but we will give him time to lick his wounds.  I just think it is sad that he has such little interest in how me or Uncle Joe is doing.  Everything revolves around the two of you and this will be hard for him as you two get older and more interested in your own friends and activities.  Since the custody agreement changed this year initiated by your mom, he now has to do his own thing every other weekend which is hard enough on him after spending almost every weekend for eight years with you guys.  I just hope you are not both saddled with feeling emotionally responsible for him as you do become more independent.  Both your dad and I had that struggle with our mom.  After she and Grandpa K divorced, I felt bad for her and felt obligated to spend more time than I really want to with her.  And your dad came home from college every weekend to be with her too.  Our mom sort of used him as a surrogate husband.   I think that is why he is so resistant to intimacy of any duration with a female, me included.  I don't think he will be able to be capable of maintaining a healthy relationship with a girlfriend until long after the two of you have moved out of the house.  He is already hanging his hat on the two of you.  He needs to be kicked out of the nest so to speak, just as I had to do with my mother which took quite a bit of psychotherapy!  Hopefully, you dad will get some hep that department before it becomes difficult on the both of you.
    Well, enough of depressing stuff!  I sat down to write to tell you of fun things that have happened last couple of times we got together.  Throughout the year, I kept a jar and wrote down memorable moments on scraps of paper and put them inside.  On NY eve, Uncle Joe and I went out and read them all.  I copied a bunch into my regular journal. When I die, you guys can have that, too, ha ha!  Lucky!!  Good God, I have more journals form 57 years on earth than anyone I know.  This is journal number 3 to you guys.  I spilled water on #2 the other day which reminded me of my task to digitalize this ongoing letter.  So far, much of first journal in in dearnoahanddylan.blogspot.com  Your mom would shit her pants since the whole story of the demise of their relationship is there already, on the internet!  But it will be great for you two to have, prolific words written about your lives at every stage, especially when we spent so much time together before you were to school.  I was reading through parts of #2 journal and cracking up. I had already forgotten so many funny details!
    I had a birthday dinner for you guys in August since Uncle Joe and I had to miss your laser party. Veronica and Soracha and Grandma Chris came.  You weren't too happy with your gifts and Noah made sure everyone knew. Grandma Chris felt hurt when Noah kicked his gift form her aside!  Your dad should have taken you out of the room for a "chat."  but your daddy wants to be Mr. Fun Guy always it seems!  But aside from that we had fun. We also went to see the Shaun the Sheep movie together,  another day we went swimming at Lake Gardner, just us, no dogs because it was goo hot out and we floated in the lake (river near Camp Kent) with life jackets on for an hour. Dylan and I got out but Noah and your Dad stayed in another hour!
   Just before Thanksgiving, I got invited to be Noah's special person at school which sure was fun. i still have the booklet he wrote for me.  And then we went our for my birthday to Friendly's (my idea since my birthday had gone past already) and Dylan said he was so excited about Thanksgiving the next day. We had THE BEST TIME on Thanksgiving!!!Oh my God, what fun!  We played a memory game your Uncle Don made up, the K's against the out-laws, we won!! (me, your dad, Uncle Don and the two of you agains Uncle Joe, Chris and Auntie Kim (Uncle Don's Kim)
   Then I read a Thanksgiving story your Uncle Don acted out and we were all peeing our pants.  So you wanted to act out a story after that and you were hysterical also.  I read Poly Pine form this old anthology of children' stories.  Uncle Don acted out the Legend of the Corn.