December 31, 2009
Dearest Cherubs,
Yesterday was quite a day. I arrived around 3:15 to babysit and ran into your mom on her way out having dropped you both of at your dad's so I could babysit. It was the first time I'd seen her since she moved out back in November. She didn't look happy at first and I thought she was not going to say hello to me but she did and just moved along to the van where Nick was waiting with a friend. In the meantime, Dylan spotted me from the mudroom window and was making faces back at me. My arrival was a good distraction for the transition between houses for you guys since you were both so happy to see me and didn't notice your mom leaving until later when you kept asking "Mama go?" Your dad looked upset and it turned out they had a fight in the morning about Dan since your dad found out you mom is still calling him. (he pressed Redial on her phone and his number came up) So while your dad was trying to tell me a very condensed version of the story, not really feeling like talking about it, he noticed the refrigerator was suddenly not working. We couldn't figure out what was going on and he had to rush out for his appointment. So then I noticed the stove wasn't working either so I knew it had to be a fuse. I brought you both downstairs with me to find the fuse box and tried to figure things out myself while trying to prevent you both from eating cat food and flushing the toilet over and over. All I achieved was a total blackout in the house so I called Uncle Joe in a panic, thinking we would be without heat and in darkness within a half hour. Thank god he got the message before he went to his physical therapy appointment and he was there in twenty minutes but discovered he could not fix it either. It was some problem with the electricity voltage so when you dad came home he called an electrician who turned the heat on for us but said the electrical line from the street was not working properly so we had to call the electric company. Your Uncle Joe went home and your dad had to talk to the therapist on the phone while the three of us watched the guy in the big yellow truck put the ladder up on the deck and climb up to the roof. It was actually pretty exciting! Meanwhile your dad was getting advice and encouragement from the couples therapist about the session they just had. He needs to let her go for now, to let this run its course since she is very confused and does not know what she wants. No more spending time together like they did at Christmas since that's just making it too easy for her. I don't know why I'm writing this detail to you but I hope that it will serve some purpose when you are older to understand the history of your parents' difficulties, not something either one of them would likely talk to you about. Right now your dad is hoping that eventually she will come to love him again the way she used to but this could change over the next few months, too. He wants nothing more than for all of you to be a family again and he is deeply saddened by what is completely beyond his control. He is doing his best to be the best dad he can, although last night putting Dylan to bed was the challenge. I was like the British Nanny coaching him on the side-"Let him cry-give it five minutes" and we'd stand outside the door listening to "Daddy! Daddy!" and your dad would go back in and put him back in the crib, more crying "Daddy! Daddy!" getting closer to the door and again, plop him back in the bed. It took about five times, but then suddenly he gave up and not a peep. How Noah did not wake up I don't know!!!!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Separation Anxiety
December 29, 2009
Dear Noah and Dylan,
I haven't told you yet that I'm now copying this journal over into an on-line blog. Other people can read and comment but I'm only set it to your dad and Grandma K I think and nobody said anything. I'll have to stop at a certain point when the leetle problem comes up between your mom and dad and your mother especially would kill me! But anyway, I wanted to write to you today and tell you about our visit on Saturday. Uncle Joe and I went for a couple hours but I wished we could have stayed longer. Noah was sad when we were leaving and your dad started talking about separation anxiety, how he got it form Mom and Noah's getting it from him. He seemed better after I told him calmly that we had to go to our house and take care of Ruby, and Jack and Cuddles.
Then Dylan went to the window to see if they were in the car like the last time when I brought Ruby. We really had fun though Saturday. Both of you were jumping in the bed (Noah's ) and following my lead while I made up some goofy rap about jumping with the arms up high and jump to the sky. I can't remember exactly but even Uncle Joe was laughing at us! You were both so happy to see us and running back and forth between us, hugging us and wrestling with Uncle Joe. Dylan keep hanging on me and giving me hugs. It's so easy to make you both laugh! I love you both to pieces!! Tomorrow I am babysitting so I'm very much looking forward to that.
A demain, mes neveux!
Tante Kim
Dear Noah and Dylan,
I haven't told you yet that I'm now copying this journal over into an on-line blog. Other people can read and comment but I'm only set it to your dad and Grandma K I think and nobody said anything. I'll have to stop at a certain point when the leetle problem comes up between your mom and dad and your mother especially would kill me! But anyway, I wanted to write to you today and tell you about our visit on Saturday. Uncle Joe and I went for a couple hours but I wished we could have stayed longer. Noah was sad when we were leaving and your dad started talking about separation anxiety, how he got it form Mom and Noah's getting it from him. He seemed better after I told him calmly that we had to go to our house and take care of Ruby, and Jack and Cuddles.
Then Dylan went to the window to see if they were in the car like the last time when I brought Ruby. We really had fun though Saturday. Both of you were jumping in the bed (Noah's ) and following my lead while I made up some goofy rap about jumping with the arms up high and jump to the sky. I can't remember exactly but even Uncle Joe was laughing at us! You were both so happy to see us and running back and forth between us, hugging us and wrestling with Uncle Joe. Dylan keep hanging on me and giving me hugs. It's so easy to make you both laugh! I love you both to pieces!! Tomorrow I am babysitting so I'm very much looking forward to that.
A demain, mes neveux!
Tante Kim
Christmas Day, 2009
Dear boys,
Hopefully you are having a great Christmas with your mom and dad. Dad told us he wanted to spend a quiet Christmas Eve at your mother's apartment with you and open presents together Christmas morning. We had our K family Christmas at your house last Saturday. Nick was there, Kim and Uncle Don, Grandpa and Grandma K, Holly and Ryan and of course me and Uncle Joe. We had quite a feast. Everyone brought something and Uncle Joe and I cooked the ham there so the house smelled like Christmas. Uncle Don went over earlier in the week and put up a tree in addition to the Charlie Brown one your dad had up. We did a Yankee Swap and you guys opened your gifts from all of us. Nick got money and an ITunes gift certificates and you guys got a playhouse from Uncle Don, Ecuadorian sweaters from us but you seemed to like the Noah and Dylan signs the best! Noah opened up his gift first and I told him it goes on the door and he was off and running "Put door!" So your dad had to hang them up immediately.
Bedtime was a little tricky since you were both wound up a bit and Dylan still sick with diarrhea, both of you sobbing and coughing "Daddy! 'Daddy!" It didn't help that you could hear him playing Monopoly right outside the door. I finally gave up (I volunteered to put you down) and told your dad to go in. Domestic violence was breaking out at the game anyway since Kim didn't like the wisecracks from Uncle Don and your dad about slacking on her job as banker. She pushed the money at your dad and told him to do it. Uncle Joe and Grandpa K stayed clear of the table and returned to the living room.
Earlier in the evening though you were both having the time of your life playing with everyone. You were both very cuddly too. Holly said she never heard you boys say anything else besides, "Uncle Joe! Uncle Joe!" and finally she did hear a few other things including my FAVORITE words, "Auntie Kim" Ah, yes! :-)
Love you both,
Auntie Kim
Hopefully you are having a great Christmas with your mom and dad. Dad told us he wanted to spend a quiet Christmas Eve at your mother's apartment with you and open presents together Christmas morning. We had our K family Christmas at your house last Saturday. Nick was there, Kim and Uncle Don, Grandpa and Grandma K, Holly and Ryan and of course me and Uncle Joe. We had quite a feast. Everyone brought something and Uncle Joe and I cooked the ham there so the house smelled like Christmas. Uncle Don went over earlier in the week and put up a tree in addition to the Charlie Brown one your dad had up. We did a Yankee Swap and you guys opened your gifts from all of us. Nick got money and an ITunes gift certificates and you guys got a playhouse from Uncle Don, Ecuadorian sweaters from us but you seemed to like the Noah and Dylan signs the best! Noah opened up his gift first and I told him it goes on the door and he was off and running "Put door!" So your dad had to hang them up immediately.
Bedtime was a little tricky since you were both wound up a bit and Dylan still sick with diarrhea, both of you sobbing and coughing "Daddy! 'Daddy!" It didn't help that you could hear him playing Monopoly right outside the door. I finally gave up (I volunteered to put you down) and told your dad to go in. Domestic violence was breaking out at the game anyway since Kim didn't like the wisecracks from Uncle Don and your dad about slacking on her job as banker. She pushed the money at your dad and told him to do it. Uncle Joe and Grandpa K stayed clear of the table and returned to the living room.
Earlier in the evening though you were both having the time of your life playing with everyone. You were both very cuddly too. Holly said she never heard you boys say anything else besides, "Uncle Joe! Uncle Joe!" and finally she did hear a few other things including my FAVORITE words, "Auntie Kim" Ah, yes! :-)
Love you both,
Auntie Kim
"Uncle Joe Go?!!!"
December 12, 2009
Dearest Munchkins,
Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow and next Saturday riding the Polar Express with you! That will be so much fun!
Last Saturday, we had a wonderful visit. you were both in very good moods, although not right after your naps. We were playing "Ghost" we were taking turns hiding under the blanket and being ghosts and scaring each other! It was really fun! Noah and I put all the stuffed animals together on the shelf so they could keep each other company but then it was time to go and Noah took my hand to walk me back to the toys since there were still more to sort through I'm guessing. Neither Dad nor I could figure out what he was saying. Dylan was pissed because Uncle Joe snuck out to the car first while we were all in the playroom and was crying "Uncle Joe go!!? Uncle Joe go?" We did a lot of wrestling on the floor including Fly Superman with Noah finally! I think it was the first time he let me do that!
Last night I had a long conversation with your dad about how much he really wants things to work out with your mom so you can all be a family again. He misses you all being together in the house and was very depressed the other night when he was alone. They are going to start counselling again on Tuesday and I've been asked to babysit. So I may see you twice this week!
Your dad also said that if you reconcile, they will have to move out of that house and move to Newburyport. That's where he wants to be. That would be great!!
Dearest Munchkins,
Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow and next Saturday riding the Polar Express with you! That will be so much fun!
Last Saturday, we had a wonderful visit. you were both in very good moods, although not right after your naps. We were playing "Ghost" we were taking turns hiding under the blanket and being ghosts and scaring each other! It was really fun! Noah and I put all the stuffed animals together on the shelf so they could keep each other company but then it was time to go and Noah took my hand to walk me back to the toys since there were still more to sort through I'm guessing. Neither Dad nor I could figure out what he was saying. Dylan was pissed because Uncle Joe snuck out to the car first while we were all in the playroom and was crying "Uncle Joe go!!? Uncle Joe go?" We did a lot of wrestling on the floor including Fly Superman with Noah finally! I think it was the first time he let me do that!
Last night I had a long conversation with your dad about how much he really wants things to work out with your mom so you can all be a family again. He misses you all being together in the house and was very depressed the other night when he was alone. They are going to start counselling again on Tuesday and I've been asked to babysit. So I may see you twice this week!
Your dad also said that if you reconcile, they will have to move out of that house and move to Newburyport. That's where he wants to be. That would be great!!
Thanksgiving Fun at Auntie Kim's
November 28, 2009
Dear kids,
An interesting twist in the Ken K vs. Melissa K saga. Both parties have filed for divorce but no "action" taken yet other than a letter from your dad's lawyer to your mom's lawyer stating that your mom moved out on 11/9 and that the arrangements for child custody have been agreed upon T,Th pm with dad and weekends and a financial disclosure statement will be provided and let's resolve that amicably. That was last week. Yesterday your dad filled me in on the Thanksgiving day fallout. Your mom went to her sister Kim's for dinner (she was invited here but declined due to the circumstances) and Kim finally told her that we all knew why she moved out, that she was in fact involved with Mr. Dan, your dad had all the evidence and knew all along but hoped that it wouldn't end up in divorce, that somehow they could still reconcile but that possibly was out of question one she moved out. Apparently your mother almost fell through the floor in shock, that everyone knew all along and called your dad wanting to get together to talk. She wanted to go over to the house and your dad said no. After a three way High school conversation between your dad, Aunt Kim L. and your mom, your dad and mom finally spoke ton the phone for about three hours. Your mom is completely remorseful and says she knows she needs help and wants the phone numbers the marriage therapist gave her. She asked if your dad would ever consider taking her back and he said he didn't know, since he'd been so hurt, yet he told me he would when we talked yesterday. I suggested he move slowly and cautiously and not make any decisions for a couple of months to give you mom time to get better if she is truthful about her intention to get help. Your aunt tried to tell her that she was kidding herself if she thought Mr. Dan would leave his wife and kid, pay alimony and move in with her and three other kids. We all know that but I don't think she does yet and may still try to hedge her bets. She is just not in the right frame of mind and there is no quick, easy fix. Your grandmother disowned her, and she is most vulnerable to predators like Mr. Dan, and has not a realistic idea of what love is, not the romantic notion. Mr. Dan wrote to her in one card "It's our destiny." (or something to that effect) Mr. Dan needs to be castrated and banished to a cold prison camp in Siberia, but your mom may need more help than your dad can wait around for, yet he has been amazingly patient so far and he has the painful expedience of living through his own parents' divorce and knowing our dad wanted to reconcile with our mom. And we knew that deep down she never did stop loving him.
I do have to tell you guys how cute you were on Thursday since that was the original intent of this journal! After dinner we went out ion the deck and ran around like banshees with Rui, Grandma Chris and Mary Jo came outside, Samira too and we chatted, played hide-n-go seek with Rui. Noah was jumping at some moths flying around the porch lights, shrieking in delight and Dylan was walking off in to the dark saying "scawey!" Both of you would not leave Uncle Joe alone in the house. "Uncle Joe! Uncle Joe" but that stopped when Uncle Joe saw cute little Noah try to kick Jack and he picked him up and yelled at him. Dylan had a great time in the bouncey house Daddy set up on the porch. Rui and Dylan were bouncing away together inside. While Uncle Joe supervised. As fun as it was, it was so nice and quite after you left!! :-)
Love Auntie Kim and Uncle Joe who may not visit you today because we want some quiet time at home together. But we love you!!!
Dear kids,
An interesting twist in the Ken K vs. Melissa K saga. Both parties have filed for divorce but no "action" taken yet other than a letter from your dad's lawyer to your mom's lawyer stating that your mom moved out on 11/9 and that the arrangements for child custody have been agreed upon T,Th pm with dad and weekends and a financial disclosure statement will be provided and let's resolve that amicably. That was last week. Yesterday your dad filled me in on the Thanksgiving day fallout. Your mom went to her sister Kim's for dinner (she was invited here but declined due to the circumstances) and Kim finally told her that we all knew why she moved out, that she was in fact involved with Mr. Dan, your dad had all the evidence and knew all along but hoped that it wouldn't end up in divorce, that somehow they could still reconcile but that possibly was out of question one she moved out. Apparently your mother almost fell through the floor in shock, that everyone knew all along and called your dad wanting to get together to talk. She wanted to go over to the house and your dad said no. After a three way High school conversation between your dad, Aunt Kim L. and your mom, your dad and mom finally spoke ton the phone for about three hours. Your mom is completely remorseful and says she knows she needs help and wants the phone numbers the marriage therapist gave her. She asked if your dad would ever consider taking her back and he said he didn't know, since he'd been so hurt, yet he told me he would when we talked yesterday. I suggested he move slowly and cautiously and not make any decisions for a couple of months to give you mom time to get better if she is truthful about her intention to get help. Your aunt tried to tell her that she was kidding herself if she thought Mr. Dan would leave his wife and kid, pay alimony and move in with her and three other kids. We all know that but I don't think she does yet and may still try to hedge her bets. She is just not in the right frame of mind and there is no quick, easy fix. Your grandmother disowned her, and she is most vulnerable to predators like Mr. Dan, and has not a realistic idea of what love is, not the romantic notion. Mr. Dan wrote to her in one card "It's our destiny." (or something to that effect) Mr. Dan needs to be castrated and banished to a cold prison camp in Siberia, but your mom may need more help than your dad can wait around for, yet he has been amazingly patient so far and he has the painful expedience of living through his own parents' divorce and knowing our dad wanted to reconcile with our mom. And we knew that deep down she never did stop loving him.
I do have to tell you guys how cute you were on Thursday since that was the original intent of this journal! After dinner we went out ion the deck and ran around like banshees with Rui, Grandma Chris and Mary Jo came outside, Samira too and we chatted, played hide-n-go seek with Rui. Noah was jumping at some moths flying around the porch lights, shrieking in delight and Dylan was walking off in to the dark saying "scawey!" Both of you would not leave Uncle Joe alone in the house. "Uncle Joe! Uncle Joe" but that stopped when Uncle Joe saw cute little Noah try to kick Jack and he picked him up and yelled at him. Dylan had a great time in the bouncey house Daddy set up on the porch. Rui and Dylan were bouncing away together inside. While Uncle Joe supervised. As fun as it was, it was so nice and quite after you left!! :-)
Love Auntie Kim and Uncle Joe who may not visit you today because we want some quiet time at home together. But we love you!!!
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