11/15/09
We had a GREAT day yesterday! WE all met at Grandpa K's trailer in Rochester, NH and celebrated his 72nd birthday and my 51st! It was also a great week since Uncle Joe and I got to see you both and with Uncle Don at Cashman Park in Newburyport! We had a blast Tuesday afternoon and Weds. morning! I took lots of videos and posted them on Youtube. After the park on Tuesday you guys came over here to see Uncle Joe and ran around the house through our new side porch into the front porch over and over again, yelling "again!" Then Weds we didn't have to work (Veteran's Day and Nicks' 13th birthday) so we met Uncle Don and your dad at the park but it was a little cold and windy. Noah played soccer with Uncle Don and Dylan wrestled with Uncle Joe. Afterwards we had pizza here and Uncle Don did puppet tai chi (the adults found it more amusing than you did) Last night the highlights was the new electric fireplace and Uncle Don's magic tricks. Noah figured out how to point, clam, jump, run in place, kick to make the flames go on and off in the fireplace! Oh yes, that is preserved in video. Oh my God did we laugh!! Auntie KT was more interested in watching video with Uncle Joe. They got hooked into Monsters and Aliens. Noah was having a blast with Uncle Don following him around yelling "Don! Don!" of course when it was time to put his pyjamas o. He had his usual temper tantrum and then Dylan sat in a little rocking chair and watched the action with a smirk on his face, looking around at the rest of us as if enjoying the family bonding but then it was his turn to change his clothes-not as bad as Noah though! Everyone was fine after that transition and then uncle Don pulled a few more dominoes out of Noah's ear.
It was a great time, Grandma Chris made yummy roast beef and chicken and we sang Happy Birthday. Dylan was still trying to sing the song afterward. He is very musically inclined. Noah has a bigger vocabulary but Dylan has tunes in his head he can start singing, like "Hi Ho! Hi ho!" from Snow White. (Disney cartoon)
It was a hard week for your dad though. Your mom moved out Monday and he found out Friday that she already filed for divorce on Oct 20. He had filed also but she ad beat him to the punch. She's fighting for full custody, the house and child support. I suppose she can ask for all that but she can't expect the house since she left nor can she expect child support if your dad is watching you as much as she is with the current arrangement of weekends and Tues and Thurs nights. And I don't know where she thinks Nick is going to go on the weekends he's not with his dad. But the two lawyers will sort through all that and hopefully your mom and dad can somehow sort through their anger and resentment since they'll have to deal with each other for twenty more years on a regular basis! Your mom is still dazzled by Dan, the contractor who was at the appartment when your dad went over to look for his wallet he left in the van. She said he was putting up shelves and your dad said he wasn't comfortable with him being around you boys since he was the one who broke up the marriage.
11/8/2009
Dearest nephews,
Wel, tomorrow is the day your mom is officially moving out into an apartment in Groveland with you three kids but you willl be spenidng weekends and probably Tues and Thurs nights wtih your dad. She didn't move out on the first of the month because she planned a party for Nick and the house (his13th birthday)and only invited her side of the famiy. I think she is embarassed and ashamed to invite us. For the K family side, we were ready and able to forgive until she actually decided to move out (after first trying to get your dad to leave.) That pushed your dad to finally file for divorce, esp after he begged her to stay and try to work things out. I think she must believe a new home and a new boyfriend /husband she hopes will give her a new life but it won't. your dad met with the marriage therapist alone last week and she said she couldn't help her since she can't help people when they are not ready to be helped. Your mom is stubborn and nobodys going to tell her what to do. We are all heartbroken, especially your dad, but I think in the long term, your dad will do better and move onto a fulfilling life with another partner who will be at a better place in her life. And who knows if your mom may eventually fall apart if and when Mr. Dan moves on to another married woman and may finally realize she needs some serious help. It's a bad situation because your grandfather is mad at her, too. She had some money of his, about $5000 and hasn't returned it and she she was holding it for him since he doesn't use a bank and I bet she spent it on first and last payment for rent, thinking she could pay it back later, not thinking he'd ask for the money so soon. (he moved out and moved back in with your grandmother) so your mom has not been served divorce papers yet but that will take a few weeks. I do think she will be surprised since she would not expect your dad to do anything since he has been keeping quiet about his knowing of the affair still ongoing. Your mom is even telling your Aunt Kim L that she hasn't talked to the guy in months, but the phone records show constant, daily, all-day communication. I know that when you read this you will be mature enought to understand all of this and not judge or be angry since she really does not understand what she is doing. This is similar to a drug addiction and she needs the "fix" to feel good right now. Part of it is also an irrational idea of what "love" is, at least romantic love. The worst part though is that she does not appreciate what a great guy your dad is. He has not been the ideal husband, but he has learned a lot in this ordeal.
I was sorry I missed you on Trick or Treating with you guys. You went with your dad, Uncle Joe and Grandpa K. I saw videos Uncle Joe took. You rode in your wagon in the south end of Newburyport where they have a lot of haunted houses and scary displays!!
Uncle Joe and I went to visit yesterday. Grandpa K came over, too. It was a little cold out but we stayed outside to play in the backyard. You were riding your tricycles around the trampoline. I gave you guys some cookies and then you weren't hungry for supper. Uncle Joe made a turkey pot pie. I read a book to you about going potty and it has a button to push whch makes a tolet flushing sound. I found it at a rummage sale at a church fair. You wee running around quite a bit and jumping off of chairs, sliding around in a box and wathing a video on colors. Also, playing with match box cars, repeatig after us what they were "red car" "green trurk" and you also were pickng up a toy phone and saying "Hello!"
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Pumpkin Walk in the Neighborhood/ Joint Custody
October 10, 2009
I got distracted and did not finish last entry-probably because my meal showed up! Now I'm up in our new room with Uncle Joe, Ruby, Jack, Cuddles and Riley, a visiting Jack Russell Terrier. We spent the afternoon with you guys at your house. We jumped around in the trampoline for awhile and then you both helped your daddy spread loam in the backyard where the willow tree used to be. We found a couple of worms and you were very excited. Dylan wanted to smash his with a rock but Uncle Joe managed to stop him in time. Dylan was very crabby at supper time and did not even want to try my lasagna!! Nick didn't like it either but Noah ate it right up. After dinner I took Noah for a walk in the neighborhood to see if we could find pumpkins. Noah was echoing everything I said- "find pumpkin" "big pumpkin there" "be careful cars" We saw some scarecrows, too!
At this point we don't know what will happen between your mom and dad. Your dad is very hurt and I think your mom is very confused. Your dad still is not sure that she ended the relationship with this Dan guy (who for all we know could someday be your step dad) although your dad has called him twice and followed him to Home Depot. So not much to tell you about and not sure how much of this you'd ever want to know but your dad up to this point has been fighting hard to get this guy to back off and win your mom back, but I think he's starting to give up since it doesn't feel like you mom wants to be back with him. There is not much love or affection coming from her and although she loves you both dearly, and Nick too, I think she has a hard time loving others. She's been through a lot in her life, a mom very early with Nick, and no chance to really develop as an adult with interest of her own, relying on her husband/boyfriend to make her feel happy, somehow not finding it from within. The good news it that marriage therapist pointed this out and suggested she find her own individual therapist to find out what it does take to make her happy and work through some of her issues. She tends to be blaming your dad for her unhappiness but that is irrational. In the meantime, your dad, certainly not in a good place right now has hired a professional private investigator to follow your mom because that is the only way he can be sure things are over with Mr. Dan. It's been six weeks of continuous deceptions since he confronted her with the hotel visit. She's tried to keep the relationship secret from everyone but unbeknown to her, at the time being, we all know! Even your grandmother knows who she hasn't hardly talked to since you were born. I'm waiting to see what happens between them because I may retire early if they divorce and your dad needs child care. He wants to fight for full custody but there is no judge that would grant that. Your mom is a good mother and you should be able to live a good life in a joint custody situation.
It's very hard though for your dad to even think of you both living with another man, especially this guy Dan and picture him becoming your stepfather. I think Dan is done-and nothing bat an opportunist and someone who took advantage of your mom who was unfortunately vulnerable. But time will tell. I hope you both do not suffer any ill effects from the stress each parent is under making sense of this nightmare.
I love you both,
Auntie Kim
I got distracted and did not finish last entry-probably because my meal showed up! Now I'm up in our new room with Uncle Joe, Ruby, Jack, Cuddles and Riley, a visiting Jack Russell Terrier. We spent the afternoon with you guys at your house. We jumped around in the trampoline for awhile and then you both helped your daddy spread loam in the backyard where the willow tree used to be. We found a couple of worms and you were very excited. Dylan wanted to smash his with a rock but Uncle Joe managed to stop him in time. Dylan was very crabby at supper time and did not even want to try my lasagna!! Nick didn't like it either but Noah ate it right up. After dinner I took Noah for a walk in the neighborhood to see if we could find pumpkins. Noah was echoing everything I said- "find pumpkin" "big pumpkin there" "be careful cars" We saw some scarecrows, too!
At this point we don't know what will happen between your mom and dad. Your dad is very hurt and I think your mom is very confused. Your dad still is not sure that she ended the relationship with this Dan guy (who for all we know could someday be your step dad) although your dad has called him twice and followed him to Home Depot. So not much to tell you about and not sure how much of this you'd ever want to know but your dad up to this point has been fighting hard to get this guy to back off and win your mom back, but I think he's starting to give up since it doesn't feel like you mom wants to be back with him. There is not much love or affection coming from her and although she loves you both dearly, and Nick too, I think she has a hard time loving others. She's been through a lot in her life, a mom very early with Nick, and no chance to really develop as an adult with interest of her own, relying on her husband/boyfriend to make her feel happy, somehow not finding it from within. The good news it that marriage therapist pointed this out and suggested she find her own individual therapist to find out what it does take to make her happy and work through some of her issues. She tends to be blaming your dad for her unhappiness but that is irrational. In the meantime, your dad, certainly not in a good place right now has hired a professional private investigator to follow your mom because that is the only way he can be sure things are over with Mr. Dan. It's been six weeks of continuous deceptions since he confronted her with the hotel visit. She's tried to keep the relationship secret from everyone but unbeknown to her, at the time being, we all know! Even your grandmother knows who she hasn't hardly talked to since you were born. I'm waiting to see what happens between them because I may retire early if they divorce and your dad needs child care. He wants to fight for full custody but there is no judge that would grant that. Your mom is a good mother and you should be able to live a good life in a joint custody situation.
It's very hard though for your dad to even think of you both living with another man, especially this guy Dan and picture him becoming your stepfather. I think Dan is done-and nothing bat an opportunist and someone who took advantage of your mom who was unfortunately vulnerable. But time will tell. I hope you both do not suffer any ill effects from the stress each parent is under making sense of this nightmare.
I love you both,
Auntie Kim
Change Diaper? October 1, 2009
Dear Noah and Dylan,
Uncle Joe and I are sitting in an Italian restaurant called Toscana in Peabody. I just had a chiropractor appointment with Todd Buckley (your dad recommended him) Let's see,a couple of updates for you- Friday night we babysat for you while your parents went to their first (and hopefully not last) marital therapy appt. Noah did pee-pp on the potty!! Just a little squirt before we put on the PJs but very exciting! He did peepee for Mom before they left the house and he just sat on the toilet smiling proudly while we all clapped! We had a fun time playing together and there were no tears when Mom and dad left (they snuck out-ha ha!) Then Noah saw a lady on a commercial and thought it was Mom and kept pointing and saying "Mama!"
Since my back was bad I had to change both of you on the floor instead of the table. Noah laid down immediately and said, "Change diaper?" and was perfectly well-behaved while Dylan stood by and patiently waited for his twin! Uncle Joe came in the bedroom and couldn't believe that the usual wrestling match was not happening- as we say in French "C'est magnifique!"
You both also came over on Sunday this past weekend and the weekend before the 27th of Sept was our 12th anniversary. You came and went like a hurricane! My god, poor Uncle Joe was trying to cook American fried Rice while Dylan ate a banana and Auntie Kim, Noah and Dylan went to look at a smelly house in Newburyport which you are not going to buy! Yuck. I told you Dad I would love for you guys to live in Newburyport, but first they need to work through the "grandes problems que ellos tienen." and sell first the house in Haverhill! (not like your Uncle Don who bought a condo in Plymouth and can not sell his condo in Amesbury!)
Uncle Joe and I are sitting in an Italian restaurant called Toscana in Peabody. I just had a chiropractor appointment with Todd Buckley (your dad recommended him) Let's see,a couple of updates for you- Friday night we babysat for you while your parents went to their first (and hopefully not last) marital therapy appt. Noah did pee-pp on the potty!! Just a little squirt before we put on the PJs but very exciting! He did peepee for Mom before they left the house and he just sat on the toilet smiling proudly while we all clapped! We had a fun time playing together and there were no tears when Mom and dad left (they snuck out-ha ha!) Then Noah saw a lady on a commercial and thought it was Mom and kept pointing and saying "Mama!"
Since my back was bad I had to change both of you on the floor instead of the table. Noah laid down immediately and said, "Change diaper?" and was perfectly well-behaved while Dylan stood by and patiently waited for his twin! Uncle Joe came in the bedroom and couldn't believe that the usual wrestling match was not happening- as we say in French "C'est magnifique!"
You both also came over on Sunday this past weekend and the weekend before the 27th of Sept was our 12th anniversary. You came and went like a hurricane! My god, poor Uncle Joe was trying to cook American fried Rice while Dylan ate a banana and Auntie Kim, Noah and Dylan went to look at a smelly house in Newburyport which you are not going to buy! Yuck. I told you Dad I would love for you guys to live in Newburyport, but first they need to work through the "grandes problems que ellos tienen." and sell first the house in Haverhill! (not like your Uncle Don who bought a condo in Plymouth and can not sell his condo in Amesbury!)
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