Jaguars on Fire!

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Hi boys,

     You were off to a blazing start in the late September sun this weekend. Uncle Joe and I went to another game which ended up almost being a complete skunk of the other team. You both did well and we saw you make some excellent plays. Nick, your mom, Emily and Kyle were there also, as was your dad. It was a great day to sit outside to watch a short game. (They only last an hour, more my type of sport!) Sean, your coach seems to be so much kinder and supportive than any of the coaches I've observed at your baseball games. He may have even coached you to go easy on the opponents towards the end so that they could walk away with a sense of some success at least. And they did which was nice to see. It wasn't a complete shoutout and they even looked happy that they made a bit of a rebound. And you both know what it's like to be on the losing end. It seems hard to match up the teams fairly against each other, but hopefully, you're all having fun and not taking it all too seriously. We enjoy just being there, a part of it, cheering you both on along with your teammates.
       We will try to go next week as well, before Uncle Joe heads to Maui for a couple of weeks. I'll be on my own which seems weird since he's been retired a few months now. Hopefully, I can spend a couple days visiting with you guys while he's gone since it will be a bit lonely here!  Uncle Don will be visiting for a couple days and will be able to take me to next chemo appointment, number 4 of not sure how many for this recurrence. The treatments are starting to take more of a toll on me. I'm feeling more fatigued with continuous digestive disturbances. My mood took a nose dive this past week, also, when I found out my bridge club was closing down since our director's cancer is back. He's not making enough money with fewer and fewer people showing up for his night game. All the baby boomers that are not yet dying off are not wanting to drive at night.  They find day games to go to. It makes me sad to see the game itself dying without enough younger people coming up in the ranks to replace the old timers. There is a summer camp for kids your age and I've wondered if you'd both be interested in attending, but even if you learned the game, I don't know where you would be able to play regularly. I'm glad you're at least as much of card enthusiasts that you are, enjoying 45's and Knockout Whist so much.
     Uncle Joe cleaned out our old shed and found a croquet set that we will let you guys have. You have a nice lawn at your house to set it up and play. I think we bought it when we moved into the house, not sure where it came from, but it looks fairly new. Grandpa K tried to teach you to play when we all went to Bailey Island one summer but he was too far gone with Dementia to teach you the right way. It was pretty sad watching him set up the metal posts, only about three or four inches from each other. Yikes. I thought he was kidding, trying to be funny and looking for attention but we found out that was not the case, not to say that wasn't part of it, but certainly Dementia played a key role in his bizarre behavior.
    Maybe one lining in this cloud over me with Ovarian Cancer is that it will likely get me before I end up like Grandpa. Most people my age fear that very fate, going senile, losing their mind, although I do have moments where i feel as if I'm losing my mind just from the fear of the unknown with the progression of this disease with all the non stop treatments. I posted a fundraiser for research and collected about $1200. New treatments, even potential cures are coming along, but it's hard to believe I could benefit from them soon enough. We all have to go one way or another and if I do have to go, I have no regrets over my life and all the incredible experiences I've had, amazing opportunities to travel and such a great life with Uncle Joe and our dogs. And, one of the biggest joys was being able to retire as young as I did and spend two days a week taking care of you for a couple of years. I cherish those memories and hope that you too, will be able to relive them through the entries in this journal. You aren't likely to remember much being so young then, but I hope that a deep bond has developed that will continue to connect us all, here, or "on the moon."  LOL!
    Love you guys, SO MUCH
Auntie Kim
ps And i'm so proud of you for learning Spanish at school now!!!!