Hola muchachos!
I last saw you at Uncle Don and Auntie Kim's wedding. You were Holy Hell trying to get dressed here in your tuxes. It is true what they say about the terrible twos. First of all, none of us could figure out how to put on the dam suits, all sorts of weird straps and buckles with the tie and suspenders and vest...geesh! And Dylan did NOT want shiny patent leather shoes on..he kept throwing them off. Uncle Joe had to take Noah into one room since you were feeding off of each other with the pathetic "Daddy go?!" screams. (you should hear your favorite Uncle Joe mock you!!) and Chris took Dylan downstairs amidst the chaos of one adult tux thrown on top of another and Grandpa K asking questions and wandering around in a confused state. NOT a pretty sight, believe me. Your dad was trying to shower and dress at the same time.
Anyway! You were both REASONABLY well behaved at the wedding but did not cooperate with the rose petal toss down the aisle. When you got back to your seats, Dylan grabbed a handful from the basket and threw them at Holly's head and then Noah got the idea to throw a few at Holly and Ryan. You are only tow years apart which is starting to mean less and less now that you are all ambulatory and somewhat verbal. (you are still dominated by those two word sentences though. Noah does ramble on but we have no idea what he is saying) He does repeat almost everything. Perhaps he was apart in a former life.
The latest scoop on your parents: Your mom called your dad to see how the rehearsal dinner was I believe and wanted to come over with wine. They had a long talk and the long and short of it is that she cancelled the "4-way" meeting with lawyers and asked for a continuance of three months. She is saying she wants to work things out but the rest offs have seen this before, particularly after a holiday. (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mothers' Day..everything except Kwanza and Hanukkah it seems. I think deep in her heart she knows she would be unhappy divorcing your dad but I think she really does not know WHAT she wants. I've advised your dad to make dam sure he keeps grounded by going to his therapist and if it is true that they may be on the road to reconciliation, then he needs to have his ducks in order-before there is any moving back in together there is couples's therapy, there is absolute assurance that there is no longer a third party involved, etc. IT has been so hard watching your dad on this roller coaster ride ever since the call in April 2009 asking me for the name of a couples therapist. I'm sure your mom has not had it easy, either. For one, she has had to give up 50% of her time with you both..although as it turns out, it is not as much time since she works the weekends anyway. She has your M-F except Weds PM. So we will see where this all goes. Another factor is your moms' health. She has a lump on her breast and was going in for an ultrasound yesterday. She also has a cyst or something somewhere else, her aunt died of breast cancer and your mom had in vitro fertilization shots and God knows what that shit does. We are crossing our fingers that early detection plus recent improvements in treatment will prevent a catastrophe here.
She and I have had a couple of positive email exchanges, but she seems to want to maintain her distance. I sent her a bunch of pictures of you guys swimming at the Haverhill Y and Mosely on the playground and in our house. :-)
Love you both,
Auntie Kim
Friday, February 5, 2016
Saturday afternoon, June 12, 2010: James Brown and More Swimming Lessons
Dear Noah and Dylan,
I'm at home with your Grandpa K watching pre-game for World Cup Soccer, US vs. England. So far it 1-1. Uncle Joe is up in Maine with Richard helping him repair their dock. Your dad called while we were out for breakfast and said he was on his way to Danvers to meet with Tom Buckley, the chiropractor who has twin girls, one year older than you. He's going to have the four of you play together. I told him how we could plan an arranged marriage, double wedding. He said, yeah, on June 19, the day of Uncle Don's wedding next week and his anniversary with your mom.
You guys came over last Sunday after your nap and swim lesson. Grandpa K met us here and I made us a big supper. We filmed you guys dancing with the James Brown doll to the song "i Feel Good' It is really funny! Swimming was as fun as usual. Noah gets cold easier though and a little cling with Dad. We switch off and on, taking turns holding each of you. Lately I've been holding Noah more since I think I can get him to relax better and enjoy. When I had Dylan last week, he was swimming on his own (bubble belt on still of course, but swimming never the less-more like running in place but table to get from one side of pool to the other!) Your dad took both of you the week before without help while Uncle Joe and I went to Auntie Susan's camp. I haven't heard the details of that experience though. I only overheard the instructor say, "Looks like you have help this week!"
Big meeting coming up between your mom and dad's lawyers to discuss divorce settlement proposals. They are going ahead with the legal process, does not look like reconciliation is going to happen. Your mom is still involved with this guy, although she denies it. Your dad checks on her by the redial button on the house phone. It is really such a shame since I think it is truly an addiction for her with this guy and he is "a gigolo" as your dad would say. He found out your mom is one of many girlfriends he has. Dad's friend Maria was at a yoga class and overheard some women from the class talking in a bar about the hot men in town, one of which was Dan the Contractor who picks her up for motorcycle rides. (He must have to avoid Rt. 113 though-where your apartment is right now!) Apparently he did try to get your mom to move so his wife would not see his truck. I think that's the point where she almost realized he was a user, and there was yet another glimmer of hope for your dad and her, last call at the bar as she called it, but it was short-lived.
I hope after the divorce homework that they will be able to be civil towards each other and not make you kids uncomfortable in any way. You are used to the two household situation so far so at least that is not as much of an issue. I feel bad for your dad dealing with this right before Uncle Don's wedding next week. He is stressed about seeing you mom's sister, Auntie Kim (L) and hopes to avoid any confrontation with her. He feels she was a traitor after he confided so much in her and she of course told your mom all. Yet, that was probably not the smartest thing he ever did. He was taking advantage of Auntie Kim's friendship to get more information on what was going on with your mom.
It has certainly been an interesting saga and a roller coaster ride, yet very painful to watch at times. I hurt for your mom, too, because she really does not understand the ramifications of her behaviors and decisions. She will most certainly have regrets down the road. but she is looking to fill a huge void in her life, left by her unavailable mother. I do not know how she can face her to pick up your Uncle Bill's baby when she takes care of him. She must put a wall around her as does her mother.
I'm at home with your Grandpa K watching pre-game for World Cup Soccer, US vs. England. So far it 1-1. Uncle Joe is up in Maine with Richard helping him repair their dock. Your dad called while we were out for breakfast and said he was on his way to Danvers to meet with Tom Buckley, the chiropractor who has twin girls, one year older than you. He's going to have the four of you play together. I told him how we could plan an arranged marriage, double wedding. He said, yeah, on June 19, the day of Uncle Don's wedding next week and his anniversary with your mom.
You guys came over last Sunday after your nap and swim lesson. Grandpa K met us here and I made us a big supper. We filmed you guys dancing with the James Brown doll to the song "i Feel Good' It is really funny! Swimming was as fun as usual. Noah gets cold easier though and a little cling with Dad. We switch off and on, taking turns holding each of you. Lately I've been holding Noah more since I think I can get him to relax better and enjoy. When I had Dylan last week, he was swimming on his own (bubble belt on still of course, but swimming never the less-more like running in place but table to get from one side of pool to the other!) Your dad took both of you the week before without help while Uncle Joe and I went to Auntie Susan's camp. I haven't heard the details of that experience though. I only overheard the instructor say, "Looks like you have help this week!"
Big meeting coming up between your mom and dad's lawyers to discuss divorce settlement proposals. They are going ahead with the legal process, does not look like reconciliation is going to happen. Your mom is still involved with this guy, although she denies it. Your dad checks on her by the redial button on the house phone. It is really such a shame since I think it is truly an addiction for her with this guy and he is "a gigolo" as your dad would say. He found out your mom is one of many girlfriends he has. Dad's friend Maria was at a yoga class and overheard some women from the class talking in a bar about the hot men in town, one of which was Dan the Contractor who picks her up for motorcycle rides. (He must have to avoid Rt. 113 though-where your apartment is right now!) Apparently he did try to get your mom to move so his wife would not see his truck. I think that's the point where she almost realized he was a user, and there was yet another glimmer of hope for your dad and her, last call at the bar as she called it, but it was short-lived.
I hope after the divorce homework that they will be able to be civil towards each other and not make you kids uncomfortable in any way. You are used to the two household situation so far so at least that is not as much of an issue. I feel bad for your dad dealing with this right before Uncle Don's wedding next week. He is stressed about seeing you mom's sister, Auntie Kim (L) and hopes to avoid any confrontation with her. He feels she was a traitor after he confided so much in her and she of course told your mom all. Yet, that was probably not the smartest thing he ever did. He was taking advantage of Auntie Kim's friendship to get more information on what was going on with your mom.
It has certainly been an interesting saga and a roller coaster ride, yet very painful to watch at times. I hurt for your mom, too, because she really does not understand the ramifications of her behaviors and decisions. She will most certainly have regrets down the road. but she is looking to fill a huge void in her life, left by her unavailable mother. I do not know how she can face her to pick up your Uncle Bill's baby when she takes care of him. She must put a wall around her as does her mother.
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