Saturday afternoon, June 12, 2010: James Brown and More Swimming Lessons

Dear Noah and Dylan,

     I'm at home with your Grandpa K watching pre-game for World Cup Soccer, US vs. England.  So far it 1-1.  Uncle Joe is up in Maine with Richard helping him repair their dock.  Your dad called while we were out for breakfast and said he was on his way to Danvers to meet with Tom Buckley, the chiropractor who has twin girls, one year older than you. He's going to have the four of you play together. I told him how we could plan an arranged marriage, double wedding. He said, yeah, on June 19, the day of Uncle Don's wedding next week and his anniversary with your mom.
     You guys came over last Sunday after your nap and swim lesson. Grandpa K met us here and I made us a big supper. We filmed you guys dancing with the James Brown doll to the song "i Feel Good' It is really funny!  Swimming was as fun as usual.  Noah gets cold easier though and a little cling with Dad.  We switch off and on, taking turns holding each of you.  Lately I've been holding Noah more since I think I can get him to relax better and enjoy.   When I had Dylan last week, he was swimming on his own (bubble belt on still of course, but swimming never the less-more like running in place but table to get from one side of pool to the other!) Your dad took both of you the week before without help while Uncle Joe and I went to Auntie Susan's camp.  I haven't heard the details of that experience though.  I only overheard the instructor say, "Looks like you have help this week!"
     Big meeting coming up between your mom and dad's lawyers to discuss divorce settlement proposals.  They are going ahead with the legal process, does not look like reconciliation is going to happen.   Your mom is still involved with this guy, although she denies it.  Your dad checks on her by the redial button on the house phone.  It is really such a shame since I think it is truly an addiction for her with this guy and he is "a gigolo" as your dad would say.  He found out your mom is one of many girlfriends he has.  Dad's friend Maria was at a yoga class and overheard some women from the class talking in a bar about the hot men in town, one of which was Dan the Contractor who picks her up for motorcycle rides.  (He must have to avoid Rt. 113 though-where your apartment is right now!)  Apparently he did try to get your mom to move so his wife would not see his truck.  I think that's the point where she almost realized he was a user, and there was yet another glimmer of hope for your dad and her, last call at the bar as she called it, but it was short-lived.
     I hope after the divorce homework that they will be able to be civil towards each other and not make you kids uncomfortable in any way.  You are used to the two household situation so far so at least that is not as much of an issue.  I feel bad for your dad dealing with this right before Uncle Don's wedding next week.  He is stressed about seeing you mom's sister, Auntie Kim (L) and hopes to avoid any confrontation with her. He feels she was a traitor after he confided so much in her and she of course told your mom all.  Yet, that was probably not the smartest thing he ever did.  He was taking advantage of Auntie Kim's friendship to get more information on what was going on with your mom.
     It has certainly been an interesting saga and a roller coaster ride, yet very painful to watch at times.  I hurt for your mom, too, because she really  does not understand the ramifications of her behaviors and decisions.  She will most certainly have regrets down the road.  but she is looking to fill a huge void in her life, left by her unavailable mother.  I do not know how she can face her to pick up your Uncle Bill's baby when she takes care of him.  She must put a wall around her as does her mother.