Bratty Teens, Football, Coronavirus and Papa's Death

Dear Noah and Dylan:

You just barely turned thirteen. I've been writing letters to you since the day you were born! And now I'm ready to strangle you little MFs. (KIDDING) Not surprisingly, you both seem to have mastered inappropriate adult language and I suppose I have a small part in that with my sewer mouth, but it's pretty impossible to avoid between the TV shows and your friends. There are certainly worse things you could be doing besides swearing, so I am not complaining. 

Yesterday you came up this way and we went for a walk with your dad and four dogs on the Little River Nature Trail.  The dogs behaved(mostly) but you guys were a tad annoying throwing your football around in the woods and smashing dead branches above our heads with it. So much for a peaceful walk in the woods. But you did like it, noticing different non-edible berries, the swath of dead trees in the swamp and a snake when you weren't mocking each other. And then with Katie barking at every move you made with the dam football, arg! Not easy having a collie and two active thirteen year old nephews, lol! 

You seemed to appreciate some of the graffiti on the paved section of the trail, although I was surprised to see recent Trump support chalked along it. God help us. Dylan noticed someone wrote that they decided not to go to college and instead become a stripper. So he's decided that is his plan now too. Very funny. Well you did take your shoes off on the trail. I guess that's a start? Sigh...look, I started a college fund for you both and you won't get a dime for any stripping or pole dancing lessons, only for college, ok??!!  So suck up those god awful Zoom lessons and do your best possible to prepare yourselves for your academic future despite the circumstances. The pandemic should be much more controlled by next year given the pace scientists are working at to find a vaccine. 

This was a tough week for you having lost your other grandfather. Grandpa Kudym died when you were probably too young to remember him well, but Papa, your mom's stepdad also spent a lot of time with you and loved you very much. The wake was pretty scary from what I heard with your grandmother passing out and giving everyone quite a scare. He will be very missed by your mom for sure. Losing a parent is one of the suckiest things we go through in life. Hopefully it happens when we are much older but life doesn't always work that way. I had my mom until I was 45 and my dad until I was 55 so I consider myself fortunate, but still envious of friends who are my age and still have parents in their 90's!! Anyway, I sent condolences to your mom and she told me how sensitive you both are. Grief is funny because you can feel pretty ok about losing someone and then you have these "grief attacks" where you suddenly are overwhelmed with the realization that you can not ever see the person again and you realize how very much you miss him or her. It can happen in unexpected moments. Just go with the flow, cry if you need to. And now that you are thirteen you can cry in front of us now. You don't have to go downstairs like when you were little and started wailing about some terrible injustice or from hurting yourself while playing. I remember Noah was  so trained when staying here for daycare and would just go downstairs on his own to cry, and then pop back up when he heard the rest of us talking and laughing about something else with a big smile "All done!" 

Good luck with the football games. Your dad sent me the schedule today. We will bundle up and go to see you play. Hopefully, everyone sticks to the social distancing rules as much as possible given the proximity of the players during the game. 

Thank you both for wearing masks on our walk the whole time. I really appreciate that. Uncle Joe was tired from a long drive yesterday to our small T. family gathering in western mass so he decided to pass on our walk. He will join us next time. It's a good way for us to spend time together without having to be inside with virus concerns since I walk in most weather with the dogs. There a lots of interesting places we can explore. I want us to go to Fort Foster in Kittery, Maine next. It's right on the ocean with trails, old buildings, a long pier, a lighthouse, picnic tables and dogs are allowed at least until next year when they took a vote to ban them completely recently. I don't know what the result of the vote was yet. Too bad some folks spoil it for others, not picking up the poop!! They apparently missed my pooper scooper lesson at the Parker River Wildlife Refuge Headquarters. 

Love you, you two early teenagers! And may the teen years be filled with lots of adventures and great memories with family and friends!

Auntie Kim

Turning 13 (and 51)

 Dear Noah and Dylan,

Uncle Joe and I invited ourselves over yesterday for a poolside birthday dinner. We got hit by another downpour and ended up spending most of the time in the pool house but we played Guesstures which is always fun until the aunt wins. You are getting better at losing, at least you're not crying and sulking like not all that long ago! Of course, I suck at winning, rubbing it in like there's no tomorrow. We had already given you a lighted palm tree for the pool room for your birthdays but we gave you cards with a printout of your college savings that I've been contributing to since your 2nd birthday, instead of buying a lot of gifts since you both have plenty of crap at both houses!!! Since I have no idea whether or not I'll be here for another one of your birthdays given my shitty prognosis (and I mean that in every sense of the word shitty) I put in enough for the next six birthdays so it will have more time to accumulate interest. I hope it will help out a little when that time comes!

I was noticing the stares we got from Katie, Frida and Carlos while we were playing Guesstures. I suppose it must look quite strange to them. They can anticipate most human behaviors by now, but not all the weird things each of us were doing trying to act out random words. Everyone except Dylan enjoyed the vanilla birthday cake (he is not a cake guy, sorry Dylan! Should have got ice-cream cake!) I requested you blow out the candles Covid style so you had to flap your hands over the flames to put them out. Here's hoping to another good year for the three of you! 

Two weeks ago we went to Battis Farm again, only this time with your Uncle Don. Had a great time floating and listening to Uncle Don's reggae music. Thanks for the Scarecrow presentation that your dad forced you poor guys into performing....what he won't do for a chuckle!! I thought Grandpa Kudym was a clown but you two are in for some "adventures" which hopefully won't include him showing up at your senior prom in a gorilla suit or something like that. Sigh...  And just for clarification, the scarecrow idea was from an entry I wrote in my Caring Bridge journal where i update family and friends on my treatments, progress, etc. I made some reference to tornados that were predicted somewhere not too far away and the possible threat to us, and mentioned something about my three uncles, your dad, Uncle Don, Uncle Joe like in Wizard of Oz, speculating that your dad would be the scarecrow, Uncle Joe the tin man and Uncle Don, the lion. (I think it's the opposite with those two, as does Uncle Joe...he thought he was more like the lion, looking for courage) 

I'm typing this at the cancer center in Danvers since I brought my computer. There's a lot of wating time between my blood work appointment and the chemo appointment so I have to sit in the waiting area with all the other masked patients. Today i'm sitting across the youngest patient i've ever seen here. He is a young man that looks to be about 16. I am hopeful that neither of you will be diagnosed with cancer or a life threatening illness until you have at least have had long full lives to live like I have. I will not live as long as some, but I have lived longer than many so for that I do feel fortunate. 

I love you both. Happy 13rd birthday!

Love, Auntie Kim

Social Distancing, Lake and Poolside

Hi guys!

     We've seen you guys three times this summer so far, either at your pool or yesterday at Lake Gardner. What a great time we had, especially yesterday, floating around in the lake and then going back to our house for Lexi's burgers and a game of Guesstures (adapted for Covid) Noah rolled his eyes at first but then he had as much fun as we all did (even Uncle Joe started guessing!) The best part was laughing at each other's bad attempts to act out the words. Your dad, Uncle Joe and I were amazed at the twin thing going on, how you could each guess each other's when neither of us had any idea what you were trying to do. And your dad with "reindeer" looking like a frog taking off flying? Dylan became one with the crows, until they finally took off, letting Dylan win what they may have perceived to be a territorial battle. The neighbors on Doe Run provided our backyard music while we tried to outdo them with laughter and crow calls.
   Our first visit to the Oakridge Estate was on Uncle Joe's 60th birthday which was another great time. Your dad got three huge helium balloons and a Carvel ice-cream cake. I got to take a heavenly nap in the pool cabana with the dogs while you guys played Cornhole. I was pretty tired from chemo and dealing with the partial blockage in my colon. I did try to play but it wasn't pretty. We went over again a couple of weeks ago and you guys were in the water for hours, horsing around with each other. Noah was getting into snorkeling. On one visit we played a type of Jenga game you guys have, with these huge blocks. When the structure collapsed it just missed Frida was is always right near my feet. But disaster averted.
    There was a fourth time we got together too, so far this summer when you all came over, dinner from Lexi's again and a game of Cornhole. Conversation is a little trickier with you guys now that you are at that fun awkward age of the cusp of 13, but yesterday, you both got quite animated talking about The Haunting of Hill House. I watched the whole series alone since Uncle Joe doesn't like horror. And I guess your dad kept falling asleep when you tried to get him to watch it. (I swear he has sleep apnea) Both of you now are showing signs of puberty, Noah with height increase and voice changes especially. Dealing with acne is your latest challenge.
    Lake Gardner was so pleasant yesterday. We carried those huge pool rafts down from the community gardens, no easy feat. There were a few other people there, scattered along the shore, some going by on paddle boards or pontoon boats, and the family with the two dogs across the way. Their Springer Spaniel knew how to climb up the dock ladder! Carlos was the only lucky dog that joined us. Katie had injured her paw the day before and I thought it would be too hot for Frida since she doesn't like the water, other than to stand in it up to her ankles and drink. Katie was especially happy to see you all come back with us. She seems to really love your dad for some reason.
    I guess you have both started back at Baseball, adapted for Covid of course, and are doing quite well already. I hope we can go watch a game soon, if we just mask up and stay away form others there. The virus has gotten under control pretty much in Massachusetts but so much of the west and south are in crisis mode now since nobody took the CDC guidelines seriously and opened up things before meeting the criteria, thinking that saving the economy was the priority. Wrong!  And now, most school districts in those areas are going to be shit out of luck this year, again. And they will likely have to close up shop in non-essential businesses yet again, if they even did in the first place. Hopefully, the spread from those regions won't infiltrate New England and cause us an uptick. One day at a time. Covid, Cancer, catastrophic storms, OH MY!
XOXO
Auntie Kim
 

June 1 Covid 19 greetings

Dear Noah and Dylan,

   I miss you! It was fun a couple weeks ago having you guys here and getting some good laughs in, even if it meant making fun of each other to do it. I think we Kudyms are good (for the most part) at being able to laugh at ourselves. One can never take himself too seriously, right? Anyway, I wanted to know how proud I was of both of you to keep your masks on the whole time you were visiting. I really appreciated it and I know Uncle Joe did, too. Us older people can get sicker easier with that stinking virus, especially those of us that are dealing with any kind of illness, like me with cancer treatments and Uncle Joe with his Crohn’s Disease (an autoimmune disease that affects his poop chute.) I hope we can get together again soon, maybe go somewhere where we can play Bocce and just wear gloves. Or you guys could set up the Croquet game in your yard after Noah mows it. (I heard you are very good at mowing your mom’s lawn, Noah! Lol!) (I know, maybe I shouldn’t have spilled the beans.) 

     I’ve been kind of sick lately since I just started treatment again and I’ve had a lot of stomach issues, speaking of the ol’ poop chute. I have to get chemo now every Thursday, but it should shrink the cancer that is in my colon causing this trouble. For right now, I have to stick to mostly liquids which isn’t a lot of fun. Hopefully soon, I can eat more normal foods. 

     I hope we get some warm days so you can enjoy your two pools. (while we die of heat exhaustion here because we don’t have even one pool!!!! WAAAA!) Can you invite us over to swim on a hot day? Would the chlorine kill the coronavirus if it gets in the pool? Gosh, this nightmare with the virus is never ending. 

Well, I just want you to know how much I love you even though I can’t hug you. To think I used to get mad if you didn’t hug me and now you’re not allowed! What is this doing to all the people trying to date? Maybe they can kiss through seran wrap. Now that would be interesting. Your dad usually has some seran wrap in his pocket for any potential romantic moments, but it would be nasty because there would be bread crumbs all over it. 

   At least school is over for now so you can move onto summer things. I sent a map to your dad of all the bike trails, like the one that connects to the Rt. 95 bridge you guys went on. There’s the ghost trail in Salisbury that is pretty cool, plus the Salisbury Marsh trail. And there’s one in Georgetown I really like. Do you remember the really long ride we went on when you guys were only 8? I bet that would be easy for you now!

   I hope your dad remembers to read this letter to you and that we will see you soon!

Love always,

Auntie Kim

The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse

Monday, April 27, 2020

Dear Noah and Dylan,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAGj6tQ72bc&feature=youtu.be

I recorded a story for you and your dad on this rainy day. It’s a book written for ages 8 to 80. Don’t worry, I know you are now TWELVE! Hot shot little tweens that you are. XOXO  I sure miss you guys. Wish I could read this in person and make you laugh with a few wisecracks and sound effects but I feel inhibited doing it on Youtube where anyone can watch! However, I AM expecting you to watch this and I WILL ask you a couple of questions when I next talk to you. We’ll see if you fall asleep this time (Dylan?) or if you really listen.  No making fun, Ken. I’ll slap you. You’re still my baby brother!!! It’s really kind of a nice story and maybe even something Emily might like but she might still be a little young to get the philosophy. We shall see which of the three of you clowns get the philosophy. (I mean that in a loving way)

Anyway, how are things going “quarantinewhile?”  Me and Joe still doing great. Counting our lucky stars we have a roof over our head, food, steady retirement income and our yard. I got 14 tomato plants just poking out of the pots in the kitchen and lettuce has already started to grow on our deck. I hope we can have a salad together this summer, even if we have to wear masks! I ordered a couple of pretty cool masks and one of my friends in sewing me some more. (she is Tom’s sister, remember him?) Hope you are surviving ok with all the dreaded online learning stuff. The teachers aren’t having any more fun than you are, believe me. Most teachers got into the profession so they could be with kids, not on the freaking computer! Two of my friends are retiring this year and very sad they will never get to see their students in class again, especially with this being their last year teaching. No little kids will be delivering cake to their classrooms! (Remember that?)

Well, enjoy the story and get ready for my questions. Facetime when you are ready. I’m not bribing you with stickers this time that you can trade in for cars at Richdale’s. I’m only doing that when you eat your vegetables, lol!

Love you all to pieces,

Auntie Kim

March 31, 2019 COVID 19

Hi kids,

    I think today is Day 12 of the Shelter in Place or whatever it is called. Both Massachusetts and NH are not completely in lockdown (yet and hopefully not ever although maybe necessary) meaning all non-essential businesses are closed, school is closed until the end of April, no restaurants, bars, theaters, gyms open, restaurants only for take-out, no sports, no talk shows on TV, nothing is happening that involves people meeting in a group of more than 10, and if that is necessary such as in a supermarket, everyone is to maintain 6' apart. Your mother is on the frontline of the horror show of having to work in a hospital that, like all the other hospitals in the US are lacking enough protective gear and equipment to deal with the people already infected with this virus, and we are only just beginning really. The acceleration rate of infected cases is starting to decrease, but it is increasing. Yesterday there were about 157,000 cases total, up about 10% from the day before. In NY City, the cases at been doubling almost every three days, and now they are still doubling but only every few days. So the physical isolation is working (social distancing it's been called) at least, can't bloody imagine if that was not in place.
     Uncle Don was a nervous wreck going to work yesterday because he's so afraid of catching the virus in the plane and of course losing his job. Your dad is busy at work helping people get checks that need help paying their bills since they are not able to work. He sent a picture of the cots they are setting up in Gloucester for the homeless. They are moving them from the crowded shelter to the gym where there is a little more room to spread the cots apart. The homeless have no place to hang out in during the day so they are milling about CVS whereas they'd normally be in the library. Uncle Joe and I are staying safe at home and doing our best to keep the virus out since if it gets me, I'm toast. Probably Uncle Joe too since his immune system isn't top notch given the meds he takes for Crohn's Disease. Holly is stuck in her parents' basement with Ryan while he does his homework. She can't exactly work at home as a bartender. Auntie Kim is working from home and i think her job is relatively secure at least. I have friends that have children working in the front lines and they are very worried about them. And they realize that if either of them get sick, parent or child, they won't be able so see each other. any of us losing a loved one will not be able to come together to grieve and console each other. Primarily it has been people over 70 that have died from it, but people of all ages are in critical condition needing ICUs or ventilators. I had a serious talk with Uncle Joe that I do not want to be put on a ventilator. If i'm that sick, it's time to just say Adios. You could be one on of those things with a tube down your throat for days or weeks, not able to talk, alone in a room and someone comes and flips you every 12 hours. Oh that sounds like great fun. NOT. At that point, the machine is doing the breathing for you and your chances of recovery are not good. I don't know what the rate is yet of people that have been on ventilators and survived but i can't imagine it is in double digits. Uncle Joe was mad at me until i had the palliative care nurse tell him over the phone exactly that. He on the other hand, would want to give it a try for himself, until it is obvious he is not going to get better. A lot of people are being forced with these life or death decisions when they've never talked about it before, and some are now talking about it for the first time. And at some point at the worst point of this virus fallout, we won't have those choices to make. In Italy, they have already gotten to the point of deciding that anyone over 65 doesn't get a ventilator if someone younger needs it.
     On a more cheerier note, Uncle Joe and I chatted with you on FaceTime yesterday while you were at your mom's house. Emily was very interested in participating. We showed her the dogs and she was so excited. "Doggy!" That was fun but i was getting dizzy with the phone moving constantly. Dylan, you are more suited for teaching history than filmography, ha ha! Your bedroom looks cozy with your twin beds and Celtics paraphernalia on the walls and ceiling. Sounds like you are both doing your best to keep up with all the online learning.
   Well, I hope you two stay healthy and heed the recommended protocol of hand washing and not touching your face, especially since your house is high risk with your mom working at the hospital. I'm sure she is being extra careful especially with little Emily. So far kids are not getting very sick from this. You little shits will outlive us all! And make this world a better place. Be what Mother Nature seems to be trying to teach us with this. (you might be saying...and that would be....what??) I'm off to read the news, maybe i'll delve into that philosophy or theory at another time. (i know, you can't wait.)
LOVE YOU,
Auntie Kim
 
 
 

March 28 email to you at your mom's

Dear Noah and Dylan,

     How are you guys doing? Me and Uncle Joe are fine, but just being super careful like everyone else. We had groceries delivered yesterday and I washed each and every fruit and vegetable in soapy water while singing the alphabet. I think I need a new jingle. Does your sister know any good songs? Maybe Twinkle Twinkle Little Star would be a good one. Let me know if you think of anything I might like, ha ha! We also left our packaged groceries out in the sun for a couple hours. I cut up a whole bunch of peppers and froze them. (Remember the eat the peppers song?) 

     Hope you did all your school work this week? Has that been a real pain in the neck? My friend Chris who teaches 5^th grade told me today that the Commissioner of Education has been talking with the school superintendents about how they are going to grade all the students during this shut down.  She said some of her students have been taking too many days off, especially when it’s nice out, and they are not even doing the 30 minutes of math and 30 minutes of reading exercises they are assigned to do every day. 

     Uncle Joe wants to start a garden in our back yard. He is making raised beds to prevent the rabbits from eating any vegetables we grow. We usually have good luck growing tomatoes on our deck since it gets so much sun. We walked the dogs this morning at Moseley with our friends, Linda and Hugh and their dog, but we maintained 6’ between each other. Looks like we will be stuck inside for a day or two with some rain coming. Other than watching our favorite tv shows, cooking and walking with the dogs, we haven’t done too much else. Oh, we tried a yoga class on Zoom which was fun, not so much for Uncle Joe when I farted. And I thought he loved me! WAAA! 

     Say hi to Emily, Nick and your mom and we will hopefully talk very soon.

Love you!

Auntie Kim

 Hi!  we are all doing great. i helped mom stack wood today, and we are all taking turns cooking.  i don't like online school work because most of the stuff i do is hard and when i submit it , i end up failing it because it says i didnt submit it. Its pretty weird, but i emailed my teacher. 

Stay safe! Byeeeee! 

From:Noah